Wedding Invitation Wording

There is a lot to think about when picking out your wedding invitations then organizing all the inserts and writing the wording. To get you started here are a few quick tips to keep in mind:


Formal invite when given by bride's parents reads:
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Stuart Evans
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Katherine Leigh
to
Mr. Brian Charles Jamison
Saturday, the twelfth of June
two thousand and nine
at half after four o'clock
Village Lutheran Church
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

-the invitation to a wedding ceremony in a house of worship uses the traditional 'u' spelling in houour and favour.
-no punctuation is used except after abbreviations such as Mr.
-half hours are written our as 'half after four o'clock' not half past four.

A less formal invitation reads:
Sharon and Elliot Karp
would be honoured
to have you share in the joy
of the marriage of their daughter
etc

-When saying or writing a couples name the woman's name should go first.
Sharon and Elliot Karp NOT Elliot and Sharon Karp.

This also goes for introductions - the lady always goes first.

any other questions? let me know and I will post the responses.

Wedding Gift Know How

Gift: a present.

Is a wedding gift expected? Yes - everyone that receives an invitation should send a gift. (exceptions could be business associates or people you haven't seen in years)

How much should guests spend on gifts? Although giving a gift is a social obligation, the choice of the gift is based on the giver's affection and relationship to the couple as well as the financial capabilities. Family members usually spend a little more on the couple. You DON'T have to spend the equivalent of the per person amount the host spent for you at the reception.

When are gifts sent? Traditionally they are sent as soon as the invitation arrives. They should be delivered as close to the wedding as possible. There is a myth that says you have up to a year - the sooner the better but remember its never too late. Gifts should be sent to the couples home
(don't bring a gift to the wedding, the couple already has enough to deal with that day.) Envelopes of cash or checks can be brought that day but should be placed on a table set up for this, preferably in a box with someone looking after it.

Is record-keeping really necessary? Yes - absolutely. Keeping a record helps you associate specific gifts with the givers so you can send the appropriate thank you and mention it next time you see that person. It is also a good idea to keep a record in case you need to reference it when one of your guests marries.

What happens if the wedding is canceled? The gifts must be returned, all of them. If it is too difficult to return in person they can be mailed. You don't have to return monogrammed items.


adapted from Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette

Expectations

As a bride and/or client there are a certain things that are expected when it comes to your reception. I have outlined a few.

1-Enough food - if you tell the caterer how many guests you expect then then should provide enough food to feed everyone. They should have about 15% over just in case some 'extra' guests show up. The food should be hot and they should be able to provide for any allergy or food issues with your guests.

2-To go along with enough food should also be appropriate place settings and water glasses with water in them. Whether this is a backyard BBQ or a 5 course meal the caterer should provide plates, silverware and glassware.

3-Linens - if you are getting in house linens they should be clean and unsoiled. They should not have creases in them; they should not be visibly wrinkled. Make it clear that you want ironed linens and that they much touch the floor. One of my biggest peeves is square linens on a round table showing off the metal legs.

4-The sales person or caterer should listen to you and make every effort to make your wedding the way you want it not just like all the other weddings done there.

5-Staff - the reception site should provide adequate wait staff and they should be nice and do what ever is necessary to make your guests happy.

6-And lastly remember you get what you pay for. I am not suggesting you have to spend a lot of money but just remember what you deserve and make sure you are paying appropriately for it.

Répondez s'il vous plaît

I am amazed once again how many people don't know what RSVP means or delibertly decide to ignore it. If you receive an invitation - to a dinner party, wedding, gala, baby shower, etc you must let the host know if you plan to attend. All invitations will have a date and to whom to reply to.

According to Wikipedia: Répondez s'il vous plaît or RSVP is a French phrase that translates to "reply, please." It is with this meaning that invitation cards and similar documents are often marked with "R.S.V.P." It is standard practice to reply to an RSVP request whether confirming attendance or declining.

According to Emily Post: From the French, it means “Répondez, s’il vous plaît,” or, “Please reply.” This little code has been around for a long time and it’s definitely telling you that your hosts want to know if you are attending. Reply promptly, within a day or two of receiving an invitation.

Most invites arrive between 4-8 weeks before the event - check your schedules, mark your calendar and let the host know as soon as possible that you are or are not able to make it.

Not only is it the proper thing to do; it the nice thing. Now Party On!

Tips on Toasts

I know I have discussed this before and you know I feel strongly about appropriate toasts at weddings. I was going over this with a client so I thought I would revisit it here.

Make sure you determine the order of people toasting before the wedding day.
If the FOB plans to welcome or toast he should go first, possibly before dinner is served.
The best man should toast next or before cake is cut and served. The MOH can also go at this time.

(Keep it short, make it personal, mention both the Groom & the Bride, speak loud and finish by wishing couple well and asking guests to stand and toast. The bride and groom stay seated as they are being toasted to.)

Other people that might want to toast would be the groom to his bride and her family. Other toasts should be done at the rehearsal dinner. You want to get to the dancing and having fun.

Doesn't sound too hard does it?

Table Etiquette

I have 'talked' here before about proper etiquette and of course showed you amazing tablescapes to keep your mouth watering so I thought it only fitting to discuss the proper way to set a table.
Check out this diagram - now there is no excuse for putting the fork in the wrong place. Please feel free to share this info with your fiance - never too old to learn something.


Even I have trouble remembering which is my bread plate - keep this trick handy (no pun intended) and you won't make a mistake next time!


(thanks to Blueprint)

Grooms Guide 2

So you have just spent weeks planning an engagement and finding a ring, you have proposed and now you think there isn't much to do. Well here are a few hints to keep you a little involved in the planning - I promise you it will make your future wife SOOO happy.

-Make a list of people you would like to invite. Start a spreadsheet with names, and addresses of guests. Talk to your parents and get their list.

-Talk about money - work out a wedding budget together.

-Choose your Groomsmen and pick a BM.

-Talk Honeymoon - nothing gets her away from the stress then talking about the honeymoon!
discuss options, plan a budget, research and then Book It!

-Research the route from the hotel to the church and to the reception site. Put this together to add to your wedding website. Create a map.

-Listen to your beloved when she talks about crazy bridesmaids, colored linens and styles of china - sometimes she just needs an ear - you don't have to fix it just LISTEN!

and 3 very important things
-Think of something special to do for your bride the morning of the wedding; deliver a handwritten love note, breakfast in bed, send flowers, etc.

-Tell her over and over again how you love her, how beautiful she looks and how amazing that dress is (remember she spent a lot of time on that 'look')!

-Thank your in laws a lot for the wedding (if appropriate) and for raising an amazing woman.

Southern Guide to the Perfect Wedding 3

The Wedding Cake - made the central point of the wedding reception. Long before Martha Stewart the southerners were making a statement using the wedding cake. Set on a table with beautiful heirloom linens surrounded by flowers, for all to admire.

Originally a symbol of fertility and feeding each other was the first act the bride and groom did together as a married couple. Recently many brides felt the cake was an afterthought, just something they have to have. I think the importance of the cake is coming back around, more and more brides are caring about how it tastes and making sure it is decorated a bit over the top and matches the rest of the reception decor.

In reading the book I was reminded about the history of the wedding cake. It was customary to send the guests home with a piece of cake in little boxes wrapped up in a bow. For little girls this was very exciting - they would go home and put it under their pillow for good luck.

Southern Guide to the Perfect Wedding 2

Another tip from my favorite Southern Ladies about Engagements.
This probably applies more to your friends but good info to know anyway.

"A girl must never be congratulated upon obtaining one. To do so is an insult to Southern womanhood. It hints that the bride has caught, rather then been caught. The proper form is to congratulate the groom and wish the bride to be happiness."

So remember the next time your friend shows you her big rock, make sure to wish her all the happiness in the world and then Congratulate the groom on finding such an amazing woman.

Southern Guide to the Perfect Wedding

"Somebody Is Going to Die if Lilly Beth Doesn't Catch That Bouquet
The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Wedding."

I came across this book over the weekend and haven't been able to put it down. Although I was raised in Pennsylvania I truly believe I am a southerner at heart. My family is from NC and I have spent most of my life down there. Through the years I have heard a lot about etiquette and the proper Southern way from my grandmothers and my mom. So to read this book it has made me giggle but there are some very good suggestions and reminders.

I thought I would recite them to you over the next few days, for your reading pleasure.

1-What do you dress the children in for a proper Southern wedding? (but everyone should abide by)
"One of the most important rules: do not dress your ring bearer up like a miniature man. There is nothing cute about a 4 year old boy in a tiny suit or tux. The proper ring bearer wears an Eton Suit."

I know that main stream tux shops push the rental of a mini tux for your ring bearer but trust me they never look cute and always look uncomfortable. Think of something different - how about a cute white or ivory shorts and rounded collar shirt set with little buttons.
Remember you don't always have to do what the tux shop tries to sell you.

ps- the picture is of my cousin Jake walking down the aisle at my wedding.

Wedding Planning for MOMS

Whether your mom is helping you with your wedding plans a little, REALLY helping you or just driving you crazy - you might want to pick up Emily Post's new book - Wedding Planner for Moms - how to help your daughter or son prepare for the big day.

This is a new etiquette primer by Peggy Post. It can answer lots of questions and may help in the relationship you have and want to keep with your mom and/or mother in law to be.


Wedding Planning for Moms Book