Wedding Gift Know How

Gift: a present.

Is a wedding gift expected? Yes - everyone that receives an invitation should send a gift. (exceptions could be business associates or people you haven't seen in years)

How much should guests spend on gifts? Although giving a gift is a social obligation, the choice of the gift is based on the giver's affection and relationship to the couple as well as the financial capabilities. Family members usually spend a little more on the couple. You DON'T have to spend the equivalent of the per person amount the host spent for you at the reception.

When are gifts sent? Traditionally they are sent as soon as the invitation arrives. They should be delivered as close to the wedding as possible. There is a myth that says you have up to a year - the sooner the better but remember its never too late. Gifts should be sent to the couples home
(don't bring a gift to the wedding, the couple already has enough to deal with that day.) Envelopes of cash or checks can be brought that day but should be placed on a table set up for this, preferably in a box with someone looking after it.

Is record-keeping really necessary? Yes - absolutely. Keeping a record helps you associate specific gifts with the givers so you can send the appropriate thank you and mention it next time you see that person. It is also a good idea to keep a record in case you need to reference it when one of your guests marries.

What happens if the wedding is canceled? The gifts must be returned, all of them. If it is too difficult to return in person they can be mailed. You don't have to return monogrammed items.


adapted from Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette

Répondez s'il vous plaît

I am amazed once again how many people don't know what RSVP means or delibertly decide to ignore it. If you receive an invitation - to a dinner party, wedding, gala, baby shower, etc you must let the host know if you plan to attend. All invitations will have a date and to whom to reply to.

According to Wikipedia: Répondez s'il vous plaît or RSVP is a French phrase that translates to "reply, please." It is with this meaning that invitation cards and similar documents are often marked with "R.S.V.P." It is standard practice to reply to an RSVP request whether confirming attendance or declining.

According to Emily Post: From the French, it means “Répondez, s’il vous plaît,” or, “Please reply.” This little code has been around for a long time and it’s definitely telling you that your hosts want to know if you are attending. Reply promptly, within a day or two of receiving an invitation.

Most invites arrive between 4-8 weeks before the event - check your schedules, mark your calendar and let the host know as soon as possible that you are or are not able to make it.

Not only is it the proper thing to do; it the nice thing. Now Party On!

Ins and Outs of Wedding Invitations

Many clients ask me for advice on the ins and outs of wedding invitations – here are some answers to the commonly asked.

Do I need to send my vendors invitations?

I would send your officiant/minister an invite so they are reminded to put it on their calendar. They are also considered a regular guest and will get a regular meal. Even though they may only stay for cocktails it is still appropriate. Send an invite to your wedding planner- for their files, the videographer and photographer because they might want to have it on your wedding day for certain photos.

How do I include directions and other wedding weekend events with my invitation?

According to Emily Post and invitation should be just that- an invite to one specific event, your wedding. You may include a small card that either invites guests to view a website for more information or a small card with directions. The website is a good place to put all the parties, times, locations and maps for your guests information.

How do I keep track of responses?

An easy way to manage your responses is to use an excel file. First create the file with full names in alpha order by last name, an inner envelope name and an outer envelope name, addresses, gift column and columns for all the scheduled events. Also assign a # to each family/invite. Write this number on the back of the response card you send to them. If for some reason the card comes back and they forget to write in their name or are missing info you can look it up on your excel file.

How do I stuff the invitations?

First you need to get the envelopes addressed. Whether you are doing it yourself or taking it to your calligrapher you should write the inner and outer envelopes at the same time, same handwriting and don’t forget to write the number on the back of the response card. Stamp your response envelopes. Now for the order of putting the invite together and stuffing the envelopes:

· If you have a flat or folded invite put that on the bottom, then tissue on top (to prevent ink from direction card rubbing off)

· Put the response card in the corresponding envelope flap

· Then layer the direction card, the response card and reception card on top of the invite

· Stuff all items in the inner envelope then turn envelope over and put in outer envelope so the first thing guests see is a nice addressed inner envelope.

· Weigh the whole invite then stamp

· Take your invitations to the post office and ask them if you can Hand Stamp them. This will prevent them being run through the machine with possible black lines or damage.

Voila!